kickin' and screamin'

Fourth place to live in on year...that's right. For a counseling graduate trying to register for the National Counselor Exam, register in one state, find a supervisor, find a site, and build clients, it was looking quite bleak for me. We have landed in Tennessee for now. We did pray to be in this state, closer to family, so I am glad, but as far as counseling goes, I am feeling on my own.
I may be the oldest child, but regardless of the personality surveys, I am NOT an entrepreneur. Actually, I have always said that. I am not a starter. I have good ideas, but I like for other people to do them when they involve...life and big things such as income. I would rather have a job with less pay as long as it is steady and dependable than one that pays more with risk. I do not enjoy risk-taking. I enjoy starting small activities and projects, such as what I have done as an intern at churches and with missions.
Where we live, there are no counselors for 30 miles, so instead of joining a counseling site, I must create one. That sounds fun, right? I would say the same thing if I were watching someone else do it. This is tough! This must be what God wants me to do since it is my only option and I am going, but I know He is dragging me while I am kicking and screaming.
Moving here has been a great struggle and I have cried many tears wondering what in the world God is doing to me. After fits of crying and literally face to the floor with frustration, I have a supervisor and have found a house to use. Now, I am working to put the name out and build clients. I really pray that God will bless this house and the counseling among other events that will go on. I really feel completely inadequate when it comes to all this.
In my quiet time this morning, I read from 2 Cor. 4:1 which states, "...since we have this ministry because we were shown mercy, we do not give up." Paul said it to encourage the people in Corinth to persevere despite opposition. I feel that, even though I am uncomfortable because I cannot see the future and I am afraid of failure, God has given me this opportunity and I want to be a good steward with this gift.
When I feel I physically cannot put out anymore ideas, discouraged because I am not getting paid, and annoyed because I wish this was easier, I remember what follows in this book when Paul says, "We have this treasure in jars of clay, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us (2 Cor. 4:7). It is not me who is in charge or will make this place great, it is God. I am simply being used. What greater honor is there? I pray for strength, energy, and ideas so people can come work out issues and hopefully meet the One Who can take care of ALL problems! I pray for blessings on people who enter this house and I pray with expectancy for people to come!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Since the last post, we have moved three times, lived in three cities and two states, and changed jobs three times. WOW! I hope to keep this blog as a sort of archive life story so people know they are not alone and be of encouragement to readers. As I get older, I find God created people for relationships and many times we do not have support we need! On this fall day, curl up under a blanket, sip a cup of hot tea, listen to the Michael Buble Christmas cd, and enjoy my story...

When it snows, ain't it thrillin'?Tho' your nose, gets a chillin'

We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,

Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland.